What's Love Anyway?
by darkestangel1326
Summary: Dedicated to Douglas LeShamme. He is from "Olga Gets Engaged"; if you are not familiar with that episode, you may want to watch it, but it isn't vital to do so beforehand. Slight hinting at "The Patakis" but mostly about Doug's back-story. Please REVIEW!


**A/N: Ok everyone, well here it is: technically, the first prose story I wrote because of Hey Arnold! I bet you're all wondering "But what about _Fast Cars Can Only Take You So Far_? or what about _Keep Love In Your Heart_?" No guys, they were not the first fics I wrote for Hey Arnold! They were just the first ones I got published. I've been working on this particular fic for two months, off and on. This has been edited at least 6 times. Seriously. And it changed from my mind's original plot, but became better. Me and Lyco have been working on this story for a while, and today is finally the day I show you all this story. **

**Anyway, the idea for this story is because I was watching "Olga Gets Engaged" and heard Doug (the character I'm writing about) say "Hey, What's Love Anyway?" and I was like o.0. You see, its because there was only one other character I remember saying this and that other character was Helga in the episode "Weird Cousin". Its a deep line, and it made me wonder "Why in the heck would Doug wonder what love was if he's just a con artist, its not like he had a bad experience in his past or something..." and after that, the plot formed. And, like "Keep Love In Your Heart", after I said those words, I was doomed XD**

**PS There is a reference to another story in this story. Subtle but there. Can you guess it? *Shrugs* I'll tell you the reference and the fanfic and author at the end. (HINT: It's one of my favorite fics that I pretty reviewed from the beginning!)  
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**I hope you like back-story of Douglas LeShamme! Really, I do! Anyway, enough of me talking! Let's get on with the story!  
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**DISCLAIMER: I, darkangel1326, do not own Hey Arnold!, as much as I wish/dream/hope I did! **

**DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW AT THE END! **

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><p><strong>"What's Love Anyway?"<strong>

**by: ~darkangel1326**

**Edited (immensely) and approved (finally) by Lyco Rogue  
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_"I don't get it. What's the joke?"_

"_You are, bucko. Appliance salesman of the year. 'I was an Olympic swimmer.' Humph. Come on! You're a liar and a con artist. You played my sister for a sap and for a while I went along with it because I wanted to see her suffer, but enough is enough."_

"_Oh, so you think you've got me all figured out! Is that it?"_

_"Yeah. That's it. So here's the deal: either you leave now without so much as a 'goodbye' or I spill the beans and tear your act down in front of mom, dad and Olga."_

"_You're bluffing! Olga's crazy about me and so are your mom and dad. And whatever you say, 'bucko', I'll just deny it. They won't believe you."_

"_How do you know?"_

"_Because you're jealous of Olga. Everybody knows it! She's prettier then you, she's successful, and guess what? She's popular."_

"_What's your point?"_

"_Well, whatever Olga wants Olga gets, and in about ten minutes, she gets me for a husband! And I get a cushy ride on the Pataki beeper train. You're not smart enough to mess with me so don't even try."_

"_Let's see. If I push this redial button. 'Hello, Linda? It's Helga, Olga's sister. You don't know Olga? She's Doug's fiancée. I guess there's a lot you don't know about Doug, is there? Where do I start?'"_

"_Why are you doing this? You don't even like Olga!"_

"_When your sister's in trouble, you're supposed to do something about it. It doesn't matter if you like them or not, you're supposed to do something about it."_

"_Well it might look bad if I leave without saying goodbye."_

"_I'll take care of the loose ends."_

* * *

><p>"I did like her, you know. Even if I didn't actually LOVE her." He walked over to the door, leaving the parting words "Hey, what's LOVE anyway?"<p>

He walked out of the house, his hands in his pockets, and shut the door behind him. He silently stepped down the stoop, reaching his car and began the engine.

His last statement was still in his thoughts. _"What's love anyway?"_

He stopped for a second; unsure of whether or not he sincerely wanted to know the answer. He shook his head, trying to forget about his little slip-up. He was still having trouble dealing with the fact a 9-year-old saw what no one else did. Sighing, he drove away, leaving the Pataki house, and, hopefully, his past, behind…

He was sincere when he told Helga he liked Olga. He felt like he could talk to her and feel like someone was listening to him. She helped him see happiness in simplicity, something he was envious she could do. He remembered, once upon a time, when he was happier then Olga; was more enthusiastic about what tomorrow may bring. He was an optimist, with love in both his heart and soul.

He slapped his right hand to his forehead while he kept his left hand on the steering wheel. There was that word again. _Love_. He couldn't understand why this word was haunting him now, but he knew what this word would bring…

* * *

><p><em>"I want you to forget me," a woman, with straight, jet black hair said, not dryly, nor sadly, just firmly.<em>

_They were in a park, sitting on a bench._

_The same bench he proposed on, she remembered and bit her lip. She knew this was going to be a difficult conversation, but now, sitting on a bench that held intimate memories, would surely add salt to fresh wounds._

_He shook his head refusing to heed her words._

_"No, darling! I can't do such a th-"_

"_Why do you have to make things so difficult?" She said in frustration._

You're the one who wants the impossible, _her subconscious scolded her._

_He blinked at her in surprise. They always had such a wonderful life together. Sure, at times they were a bit rough around the edges, but he felt that they could go beyond those petty differences, since they loved each other…_If_ they loved each other…_

"_W-what?" he stuttered after many attempts of speaking._

_She sighed, in sympathy towards her fiancé._

_"Douglas, I-"_

"_Don't say another word, darling. I know what this is about." Doug looked at her eyes, honestly, and kindly. "You're nervous about the wedding."_

_She swallowed. Technically, he was right. She _WAS_ nervous about the wedding, but it was probably not for a reason he expected._

_"Doug, I-"_

"_No need to worry, my love, you will be a beautiful bride. I can assure you, nothing is too good for you." He looked at her with sincerity in his voice. She gulped, secretly hoping she would choke on her breath._

_Finally, she found enough strength to tell him what she had been struggling to do the months following his proposal._

"_I DON'T LOVE YOU!"_

_Silence. Both of them froze._

_She looked at Doug, tears rimming her eyes and she found strength to go on._

"_I'm…s-sorry." She said before walking over to the swing set and sitting on a swing. She briefly recalled memories of Doug pushing her on the swing, making her feel like she could fly away and be free. Right now, she wished she really could sprout wings and fly away…_

* * *

><p>Doug bit his tongue as he tried to forget THAT day; the day that changed him. He continued driving in silence, but kept remembering his words at the Pataki house:<p>

"_What's Love Anyway? What's Love Anyway? What's Love Anyway?"_

These words repeated, as if taunting him with his cruel reality. He felt like he couldn't think clearly.

_Or like you finally ARE thinking clearly, _his subconscious said.

Doug reached the city limit of Hillwood and pulled over. He opened the door, unbuckled his seatbelt, and took only two steps before he fell to his knees. He couldn't take it anymore. He just had to let it out. Fresh tears fell out of his eyes silently as he stared at the ground. He remembered what happened next:

* * *

><p><em>They sat next to each other on the swing set, looking at their fingers. They hadn't spoken for what seemed like hours, both unsure of what to say.<em>

_Doug eventually built up some courage and stood from the swing. He looked at her through broken eyes and just asked her "Why?"_

_She frowned at his question, wishing he asked her something more complex, and easier to answer. She knew if he asked a specific question, she could delay the inevitable. But those three simple little letters had potential to release venom quickly. _

_She twiddled her thumbs together for a few seconds before responding to him._

_"Why what?" she asked. She knew it was a stupid thing to ask. She knew what he was talking about but she just wanted to avoid telling him the truth._

That's probably why this has gotten so out of hand_, she thought__._

_Doug, with a heartbroken gaze, just responded with "Why?"_

_She sighed knowing he would not change his question. Still, looking into his eyes she saw a fragile heart so she proceeded to speak the words as delicately as possible …_

"_Because…I l-love someone else."_

_Doug could not help but feel his heart breaking more rapidly than before. He didn't know what to think. He was, in essence, speechless._

"_Doug, I-"_

"_Who?" Doug said, finally finding his voice, shaking in a mix of anger and sadness._

_She didn't know what to say. She didn't WANT to say it…_

"_WHO?" Doug said through clenched teeth._

_She couldn't take it anymore. She fell from the swing and sobbed. Doug looked at her, hurt in his eyes, but went to help her to her feet. When he placed his hand on her shoulder, she tensed away from him and he froze. She had NEVER done that before…_

* * *

><p>Doug sat sideways in the driver seat, his eyes were bloodshot, his suit full of dirt from kneeling so long, and he could not help but feel nostalgic. He did not like to remember HER. The girl who broke his heart and the reason he was who he was today.<p>

That day changed him in a way that caused him to become a different person. He became a drifter, trusting no one and keeping up a façade to prevent anyone from seeing his true, miserable interior. He sighed knowing what was coming next…

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><p>"<em>ALFRED!" She yelled. She knew she should feel hideous for her outburst, disgusted with the fact that she loved a man who was not her fiancé. Yet she couldn't help the smallest smile from appearing on her face.<em>

_Doug stepped away from her, shaking violently, feeling vertigo consume him. He couldn't believe it…she was HIS fiancée…the love of HIS life…but she…l-loved…Alfred…_

_"A-Alfred…my…?" he couldn't finish the thought_

_She nodded sadly. "Your best man"_

* * *

><p>He hated remembering that day.<p>

_It was the worst day of my life, _he thought. Yet, today being the day of his wedding with Olga, the memories flooded his mind.

_Marrying Olga… _he thought distantly.

It was funny. Although Doug was well liked by most in the Pataki household and although he did like Olga, the more time he had to think about it, the more he knew he would never marry her.

_It's not her fault, _he thought. _It's just…her family._

Although he was briefly in the Pataki residence, it was enough time for him to see a few patterns. When Doug first met Olga, she often talked about her family, telling him how united and happy they were but, upon his arrival, he noted the opposite to be true. Her father, Big Bob, was a blowhard and aggressive. Bob followed a daily routine, consisting of television, Yahoo soda and ranting about Olga. Miriam, Olga's mother, seemed bored with life. On occasion, he caught her passed out from drinking alcoholic smoothies. Whenever she was awake, she was hung over and talked whimsically about aspirations. Somehow, though, whenever Olga was in the room, both her parents lit up and conversed together like normal families.

But Olga's sister, Helga, was the outsider looking in. He had seen the family pictures of Olga hung on most - if not all - the walls of the Pataki household; Helga was usually in the corner, furious and scowling, while the other three were happy. From what he witnessed, he guessed Helga would cause him the least amount of trouble. He thought Helga would not interfere, even if she had known the truth about him.

His conversation with Helga repeated itself in his head. He was trying to figure out what went wrong. He was sure that Helga would not impede with the wedding; Olga told him that Helga WANTED them to marry. But then, she stopped him. He would never forget the words she told him:

_"When your sister's in trouble, you're supposed to do something about it. It doesn't matter if you like them or not, you're supposed to do something about it."_

Now that he was alone, on the abandoned road, he could truly appreciate the wisdom she held at such a young age. When those words left her mouth, he was stunned in the least, but also a bit hurt. She was helping her sister and was there for her _no matter what._

"_Selflessly helping __her sister_," he thought. Olga may not see how dysfunctional her whole family is, but at least she sees that she has a strong sibling bond.

He sighed. Another thing she had that he didn't.

* * *

><p><em>"You've got quite a gal, Doug. It's about time you got the balls to ask her. I mean, who knows? If you hadn't asked her, someone else would've," he said.<em>

"_Thanks, Alfred." Doug replied. He smiled at his best friend. They had known each other for years. At times, people mistook them for brothers. Doug chuckled mentally at the thought. Neither of them had siblings, so they found refuge from this fact in their friendship._

_"Man, to think this all started that one day, a long time ago." Alfred said, lost in the past._

_"She told me she was trying to talk to you. She said she had a big crush on you," Doug said, playfully._

_Alfred just sighed and Doug continued. "Anyway, the reason I'm here is because I was wondering," he looked at Alfred nervously. "Want to be my best man?"_

_Alfred sighed once again and looked at Doug. What Doug saw in Alfred's look was love and support from his honorary brother. But Doug was too caught up in his rose-colored glasses to see another element; Alfred was showing jealousy._

_"Sure Doug," Alfred finally said, sadly. Doug embraced him._

I just wish I was asking you this for **my** wedding with **her**, _Alfred thought._

_The embrace lasted a few seconds, and Alfred never hugged his best friend back._

* * *

><p>Doug exited the car again feeling stronger then the first time. He had no idea where to go from here. Hillwood was behind him, and he was going to keep it that way, but up ahead, a few hours away was Firnest, the place where he met <strong>her<strong>.

* * *

><p><em>"How long?"<em>

_"Doug…I-I"_

_"HOW LONG?" Doug was not angry with her; he was not frantic either. He was just crazy right now. His perfect world was turned upside down. His fiancée preferred his best friend, his brother, in a sense, she preferred ALFRED to himself. And then, it hit him._

_"You've never loved me." It was not a question, and even if it were, it was rhetorical. Doug finally figured it out. She had the wool over his eyes long enough. "You just wanted to be near A-A-A…HIM, this whole time. You used me, didn't you?" His craziness had simmered. He was merely speaking to her in a gentle, yet probing manner._

_She looked at him, in awe. Had he really figured her out?_

_"Doug, I-I'm…I-I mean…." she sighed._

_"And three months ago, you called me every night to tell me you were 'caught up in work'. When, in reality, someone was caught up in you." He stared at her intently; trying to delve into her soul, uncover the secrets she withheld from him. But, he realized he never actually had that ability._

_Meanwhile, she blinked and held her mouth agape. He figured it out._

_"Doug…Doug…I-I,"_

_"You're pregnant." He was not looking at her at this point. His eyes were covered shadows as he stared at the ground between them._

_She gasped but nodded. She looked at his somber figure; he had always been an optimist; it was something she liked about him. But now, seeing the brightest optimist enter a looming depression…with or without love, the scene was heartbreaking._

And it's your fault, _her subconscious told her._

_"Alfred is the father…." she whispered. Denial was no longer an option, he had figured out her deepest, darkest secret and he was obviously being torn apart by the lies. She hoped these truths would set him free._

_Doug looked up at her then. His eyes were dark, reflecting his soul, and his face was contorted from its former positive smile into a sinister glare._

Dear God, _she thought. _I've created a monster.

* * *

><p>Doug was aimlessly walking on the road, letting these thoughts consume him. He shook his head, trying to forget, but knew he never would.<p>

_No, _he thought. _I don't want to remember HER. I can't…I just don't want to relive that day…._

_You're always going to think of HER, _his subconscious said. _You'll always remember everything about HER, but you consume yourself in the worst moments. You'll never be able to see the good times._

"What do you want from me!" he yelled, moving his arms to the sky, desperation painted on his face.

"Just…what am I supposed to do, without you?" he said, dropping his arms to his sides and kicking some dirt around.

He knew he had to remember EVERYTHING that happened that day. He always seemed to stop the memory when she confessed she was pregnant, then always started when they were at the park. He knew the day was longer, and he knew he had to finish the story from the beginning to the end. He remembered everything about the day, as if it happened yesterday, instead of 5 years ago.

He took a sharp inhale of breath and focused.

_I can do this, _he thought. _I can do this._

* * *

><p><em>It was a beautiful, June day. The forecast called for partly cloudy, but otherwise, sunny skies with a slim chance of precipitation. He arose and had a jump to his step. Today, he awoke as Douglas LeShamme, a fiancé to the most precious girl in the world. Tomorrow, he would be a new man. He sprung out of bed and quickly dressed himself for the day. This day would change him forever.<em>

_Today was his wedding day._

_He arrived at the chapel an hour before the ceremony began._

_He parked right in front, knowing they were going to use his car to get to the airport for the honeymoon. He stepped out of the car and looked across the street to see the park._

The park I proposed in,_ he thought. He smiled. That park had many memories for him. It was at this park where they met, had their first kiss, and the bench, in the middle, next to a tree, that bench is where he proposed a few months ago. He smiled at the welcomed wave of nostalgia and eventually headed to his room._

_He nervously adjusted his tie and suit hundreds of times for the following hour, knowing appearance was key on this day. Half an hour before the ceremony began, Alfred walked in, a troubled smile on his face, and lightly bloodshot eyes. The napkin from his front suit pocket was damp and slightly black and red. He said he didn't have a cleaner one..._

_When the ceremony began, Doug walked into the room, confident and anxious at the same time. But he just repeated the words that gave him solace._

Today is going to be the day you will never forget. Today is going to be the day you will never forget.

_Meanwhile, Alfred came to the front._

"'_Bout time," Doug murmured to Alfred._

_Alfred stood in his position, then, the area filled with the wedding march._

_Her veil covered her face. The dress was elegant but, to be fair, Doug just thought everything about her was beautiful. He smiled. Soon they would be married, and begin a wonderful life together._

_Before she reached the front, Doug heard Alfred shift uneasily. He glanced at him quickly and saw Alfred reaching for the rings._

"_Here," Alfred said, giving Doug the rings._

"_Alfred, __it's__ not that time yet. You have to wait until-"_

"_Relax man, I'm just going to check something real quick. I'll be back soon," Alfred deadpanned then walked down the aisle, exchanging a look with Doug's fiancée._

_She arrived to the front. Doug gently lifted her veil and gasped inaudibly at what he saw. Her beautiful brown eyes were bloodshot, her mascara and eyeliner dripping black smudges across her face and her red lipstick looked recently reapplied._

Kind of looks like the color of Alfred's stained cloth_, Doug thought absently._

_He quickly gave her a sympathetic smile, as if telling her that cold feet were normal to experience on life changing days but she would not look in his direction. She kept her eyes on her feet. Whenever she looked up, her eyes would soften and she would involuntarily clutch her stomach. Doug held her hand gently in his and turned her to face the minister._

Where the hell is he? _Doug thought._

_The ceremony proceeded, and then the minister asked the important question._

"_Do you Douglas LeShamme take," a car horn went off __outside, muffling the minister's words for a moment,__ "…be your lawfully wedded wife. To love and to cherish, in sickness and in health, till death do you part?" _

_Doug smiled and looked at his bride. "I do"_

_The minister repeated his lines to Doug's fiancée._

"_Do you__,__" another loud noise was heard, but again, the minister ignored it__,__ "…Douglas LeShamme to be your lawfully wedded husband. To love and to cherish, in sickness and in health, till death do you part?"_

_She looked at Doug who gave her a supportive smile; then she looked beside him and saw that Alfred was not there. She looked at her feet, bit her lip and looked at the crowd. It was filled with both their friends and families, each one giving her a supportive smile. Then, as she began moving her head to Doug, she caught a glimpse of something. She darted her head back and saw Alfred, leaning against the entrance/exit of the chapel. His hands were in his pocket, his face was pale, and he looked at her with a heartbroken smile._

_And that did it._

"_I-I…" people began to murmur about her, and even joked she lost her voice at the inappropriate time. She looked at the entrance again, and saw that Alfred was gone. Without a thought more, she ran out of the church, ran as fast as she could in the wedding gown and ran until she reached the bench on the park. She ran away out of fear of love, hatred of herself, anger at her secret, and most of all, she ran away to think._

_Doug just watched her run, in a daze over what just happened to him. He stood at the empty front for minutes, until his body finally responded and ran after her. He ran outside the chapel and saw her sitting on their bench. Hastily, he ran to her, sitting next to her while she sobbed quietly. He did not know what was wrong with her. He just knew that he was scared about her welfare. Before he could place a comforting hand on her shoulder, she looked up at him and spoke._

"_I want you to forget me."_

* * *

><p>Doug stood in the road, unmoving and showing no sign of ever moving. He remembered. The last time he remembered that day was 5 years ago, but now, for whatever reason, he remembered the morning.<p>

_C'mon Doug. I know it hurts, but the day didn't end there. You have to remember what happened after you both broke off the wedding,_ his subconscious coaxed him.

Doug exhaled, realizing he hadn't been breathing for a minute or two, and focused.

_I can do it, _he told himself. _I can do it._

_Eventually, Doug and his fiancée agreed that they could not marry. She gave him one last apologetic smile before leaving the park._

And my life, _Doug thought._

* * *

><p><em>He sat at the bench, trying to forget about her. Trying to focus on the next issue at hand.<em>

_"What am I going to tell everyone?" he said aloud._

_He was not looking forward to going to the front of the chapel and awkwardly telling everyone that he was left at the alter because his fiancée and best friend/best man were having an affair for heaven knows how long - which consequently led to their developing lovechild - and that his relationship with her was based on a lie, and he called off the wedding and relationship on the anniversary of the day they met each other years ago. He shuddered at the thought. He knew she was a good person, with a good heart. But he knew that this story would cause everyone in the audience to despise her and judge her harshly._

She doesn't deserve that, _he thought._

_He stood, his legs weak, but nevertheless, he walked out of the park. He reached the end of the park and looked up. He froze at what he saw._

_There she was. In the front of the chapel, waiting patiently and looking up and down the street for something. She was pacing and biting her nail through her white glove. She was nervous, and he thought he knew why too._

She doesn't want to be judged, _he thought gently._

_He walked to the crosswalk, trying to absolve her of any guilt._

I'll tell her she can leave and that I'll tell everyone the story, _he said to himself. He hoped this would calm her down and show he still loved her, even if she could never reciprocate the feelings._

_He reached the street with the chapel and headed over to her but froze._

_Alfred was in his car, smiling and in total bliss, pulling up to the front of the chapel. When she saw him, she smiled beautifully, and entered the car quickly. From where he stood, Doug saw them kiss each other passionately through the front window as they drove past him._

"PLEASE!" Doug half yelled. "Don't make me remember the rest! It hurts too much. Please, don't be so cruel!" he said.

The sun was setting while Doug clenched his face with both his hands. He was having a breakdown. He couldn't do it. He didn't want to. The rest of the day, and the months following it were too much for him to bear.

_You have to remember, _his subconscious said, trying to soothe him.

"You don't understand! I just don't WANT to!" Doug yelled frantically.

_You must, Doug, it's time to remember. Forgiveness will set you free, _his subconscious told him.

Doug breathed heavily but acquiesced to the orders of his subconscious.

"I want to be free," he said and then focused on what happened next.

* * *

><p><em>It happened fast. One minute, he saw the dearest people in his life betray him, and the next minute, they became nonexistent.<em>

_They had been kissing, then separated and beamed. They were in utter bliss and distracted from the real world. They talked and laughed and loved each other until the end._

_But Alfred wasn't paying attention to the road. He didn't see the light. He stopped midway between the two streetlights. He didn't see his mistake until it was too late. His responses were slow and the driver's reactions were even slower. He tried to drive, tried to cross the intersection, but he couldn't switch gears fast enough._

_And then it happened._

_Doug closed his eyes, and opened them in fear._

_A car crashed into the blissful couple. Doug began running to the scene, the other drivers stopped the cars and tried to assist in the accident. Everything was going in slow motion. Doug could see Alfred and his ex-fiancée, unconscious, bleeding heavily from their foreheads, but still holding hands. Their bodies were motionless. Doug stopped and hoped they were just unconscious._

_At that moment, for just that miniscule of a moment, Doug did not care of their betrayal. He just wanted them to be alive. Quickly, he ran to the car as fast as he could but time seemed to prevent him from saving them. He was close to saving them, close to bringing them back to life._

_To this day, he was never told what caused it. Some bystanders say it was leaking fuel and sparks, others say that one of the engines overheated, but for whatever reason, just as Doug was a few yards away from his best friends, the cars exploded. Doug stopped and covered his eyes. He looked up and was covered in ash. He looked over to the accident. The only things left were charred metal frames and black, burnt bodies…._

_No one survived the accident._

_Doug was not able to properly mourn. He couldn't accept their deaths. Three days had passed since his wedding. He never went to the chapel to tell the audience that the wedding would not happen. He never told them that his beloved and his best friend were running away together. All the audience knew was that they both died, and that Doug witnessed the whole thing._

_The day of the accident, Doug became an isolationist. He spoke to no one and barely even ate. No one knew how he was holding up. He allowed no one to comfort him, and disconnected his phone and other forms of communication. No one knew if he was alive._

_Although he did not want to, Doug agreed to arrange the funerals. He decided to have them on the same day, because he knew he would never return to the funeral home after that. He also wrote the inscription for both of the graves, because each of the families asked him to._

_For his ex-fiancée, he would've loved to have written "A beloved wife, mother and daughter" but knew the first titles were untrue. They never married and broke up the day of her death. Although she was pregnant, it was not his child, and the child was not even born. He wrote "A beloved daughter" but scratched it out and eventually just wrote "A daughter"._

_For Alfred, he originally would've written "A beloved son, best friend and honorary brother" but found the last two statements were untrue. What brother would have an affair with the fiancée of his brother?_

_What kind of best friend did that? Eventually, Doug just wrote "A son"._

_But, upon seeing the inscriptions, the families decided to relieve Doug of the entire funeral privileges._

_By the day of the funerals, Doug was silent. However, all of the mourners were silent, so they found nothing wrong or odd with his behavior. They did not see that Doug was silent for a non-traditional reason. They did not see he was drunk._

_The first funeral was his ex-fiancée's. He sat through the Eulogy, hearing her family praise her life and wish she would rest peacefully in heaven._

_Doug listened and nodded and tried to stay polite, but couldn't take it. They thought she loved Doug. They thought she wasn't playing with his emotions__._ _The other mourners thought it was safe to have him say a few words so they encouraged Doug walked to the front of the room to about his ex-fiancée. _

_"Hello, everyone. Thank you for coming to the funeral. It was a few days ago that my beautiful bride was killed in an accident, along with Alfred, my best friend. It was the day that changed my life forever, and the day I will never forget." He paused, to keep calm. But failed. "However, I am supposed to share with all of you the last moment I had with her. During our last conversation, after she ran away from the chapel, and I caught up to her," he breathed in and out and continued. "S-She told me she did not wish to marry me, because she did not love me. She said she was in love with Alfred, and was…and t-that he was the father of their unborn child…" Doug's voice was becoming more and more croaked._

_The audience was in shock. They did not know the wedding was cancelled due to an affair. They whispered amongst themselves and Doug continued._

_He looked at the audience; they all felt sympathy for Doug and some people from the front row even got up to embrace him, but Doug just glared at them._

_"I don't want pity. I don't want anything that any of you can give me. You all wanted to know what was my last moment with her, fine, I just fucking told you. But I don't need your cheap, fake sympathy." Some guys from the front row approached Doug, to escort him out of the room, and away from the microphone. "I just want this to be over!" Doug said, storming out of his ex- fiancee's funeral, pushing past the mourners who wore horrified looks._

I don't need anyone, _he thought bitterly. _It's a dog eat dog world out there. If you let people get too close, they just betray you with your kryptonite. I'm not falling for that trick again. From here on out, I don't give a fuck about people. I'm looking out for me.

_Hours passed and then Doug went to Alfred's funeral. No one in this audience knew about his eruption from earlier, and Doug did not want to seem like the poor puppy who needed anyone's help. He was tired of that image and walked into the funeral, intent on showing his independence._

_"As is customary, I'm supposed to share with all of you the last moments I had with Alfred. Well, to sum it up, I found out that he and my ex- fiancée were fucking behind my back and that Alfred impregnated my ex-fiancée with his lovechild. Turns out I was in a love triangle. When she was done with Alfred for the night, she came home to me and fucked me too. So you want to know how I'll remember him? I'll remember him as the best friend who fucked my fiancée behind my back."_

_Although Doug felt slightly guilty for what he said, he just dropped the microphone on the stand and walked out of the funeral, leaving the audience in shock, disgust, and confusion._

_Meanwhile, Doug reached his car, started the engine, and drove away…_

* * *

><p>It was nighttime now, and Doug was leaning by his car, hands clenched but otherwise a calm figure. He regretted his words that day. He didn't mean to ruin the perfect image the families held of their loved one, but he was seething, betrayed, confused, and above all, hurt. He didn't know what else to do.<p>

"Please! Please God! Universe! Whatever it is that controls our lives! Give me a sign! Tell me! What am I supposed to do?" He yelled at the sky, frantically, impatiently, and even hopefully.

"I've lost it all! The love of my life! My best friend! My home! I have nothing! I'm dead inside! Just tell me, please someone, somewhere, just TELL ME! What's love anyway?" He was crying, his knees had given out from under him, and he repeated his words.

"What's love, anyway?" he whispered.

Doug lay on the ground, silently crying and dying within for hours.

When dawn appeared, the light from the sun hit Doug's closed bloodshot eyes and caused him to awake. He realized he slept a whole night on the road, with nothing to comfort him but his tears and the ground.

He could not believe it. Since the day of the accident, he hadn't slept more than two hours at a time.

His first few days on the road, Doug only stopped for a handful of things. But he was running low on cash, and wasn't ready to stay in one place for too long. Staying in one place meant trusting people, and trusting people left you vulnerable to anything they do or say.

_And I don't wanna fall in that trap again, _he thought to himself.

He wasn't going to lie to himself. Conning, at first, was more like his rebellious tendency than a necessity for money. He had so many pent up negative feelings; conning helped him express them. He never saw a problem in it. In a way, his ex-fiancée conned him in love, why shouldn't he return the karma and con the world of money?

That was, until the day he met Linda. Linda was…different. Although she was from an average family, Linda was always able to make Doug feel…what was the word? Better because of their physical relationship? Or worse because of their increasing romantic feelings?

Linda loved Doug. She believed there was good in his soul, no matter how bad he thought it was. But, truthfully, Doug was afraid. He was afraid to tell her about his past. But that wasn't his biggest fear.

Doug was afraid to fall in love. He was already betrayed by the love of his life, he didn't want it to happen again, but the thing was that Linda was…different.

Whenever he was with Linda, Doug felt more complete. He felt like his usually dead soul was somehow revived. She made him feel like he could belong somewhere.

It was the feeling he hadn't felt in the longest time.

But when he found Olga, and discovered her father was the "Beeper King" with his own company…the con was too big to pass up. He couldn't help himself. Doug had a major problem in conning, and sadly, not even Linda's love could stop him from the ultimate con.

It was the hardest 3 weeks and 2 days of his life. He had to survive 23 days without seeing Linda. And he couldn't take it. He missed her. Loved her…

He sighed remembering Linda, and how Helga almost ruined his chance with her. He raised himself by his elbows, wiping his face with his sleeve. He got up, slowly, from the ground and headed for his car.

He was not going to con anyone anymore. He was tired of it. Tired of the lies and the pain it caused. He had to deal with the fact that his fiancée was in love with his best friend. She cheated on him; he, Douglas LeShamme, was conned.

_Time to grow up, _he thought.

He wasn't going to call Linda. He didn't deserve her. He wasn't going to mess up her life just so he could feel better about his. It wasn't right. It wasn't healthy.

He sighed. He wasn't exactly sure what to do or where to go. He felt like he had to purify his soul, but he didn't know where to start.

With this in mind, he started his car and adjusted his mirrors. He saw he was full of dirt, but despite this, he smiled.

At least I'm finally free.

He drove away from Hillwood, disappearing in a matter of minutes, never to be seen again…

* * *

><p><strong>AN: You probably have many questions. **

**Ok, so basically, this is what is going on: Doug leaves the Pataki household, goes to the outskirts of Hillwood and remembers his life before conning. He remembers the girl who broke his heart, and how she and his best friend, Alfred, died in a tragic accident. He remembers his inability to mourn and realizes his cons were just a way for him to cope. However, when Linda came along...Linda changed him, made him feel like someone, which is why Doug freaked out when Helga menaced to tell Linda the truth about him. He didn't want to lose her. However, when Doug met Olga, and found out about her father's wealth, he couldn't resist it. It was the perfect con and he was already too deep in this obsession to turn away. But, after he FINALLY lets himself remember how much pain a con could be (ie when his fiancee "conned" him out of love), he decides he has to right his wrongs. And he doesn't go back to Linda, just because he feels that he will never be good enough for her, and because he is afraid to love her.**

**If you have any other questions, feel free to PM me anytime.**

**As for the ending...I'll leave you guys to come up with one. I****'ve tried to end it, but I am never satisfied.**

**PS Oh and in case you're wondering, Firnest is actually a city from another fic called "Something to Return to" by Delaroux. I asked and she said I could use the city name, so no plagarism was caused. YAY! Anyway, I suggest you read "Something to Return to" because, seriously, its a very awesome story that I really enjoy reading. It's sooooo good :D  
><strong>

**ANYWAYS, AS ALW****AYS, PLEASE REVIEW THIS CHAPTER!**

***CUTE ADORABLE CAT/DOG EYES*******

**PLEASE** **REVIEW! AND I WILL GIVE YOU A COOKIE! :D**


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